Winging It No More

Today, I'm trying to get a jump on planning for our homeschool year, and I can't think of a better way to prepare than summer vacation!

Cricket, cricket. 

Wait, those two concepts seem like opposites to you? Hear me out. I am a planner by nature, but at the same time, when my life goes in about 18 different directions, I have a great master plan, but I tend to wing the details in between. Once we start our school year, we will have a degree of flexibility in each day's goals. Do we want to do a trip to the zoo in the morning, and school in the afternoon? Or forgo the work to spend the day at the splash pad and have a discussion about water conservation and pipe systems? THAT is going to be fun. But ultimately, the day to day needs of our household won't change.

They (who the heck are "they" anyway?) say it takes 21 days to make a habit. I'd say that for me, it takes even longer. I'm just a realist. It's been awhile since we've had a consistent routine, and it's been easy to just wing it on the non-routine days. So, I'm going to use summer as a trial run to get all of us consistent on wake-up times, meal planning, and chores.

WAKE UP TIMES

Right now, Bug gets up at 5:45 to get on the bus. Isn't that sad? The benefit in that is that she gets free breakfast at school, thanks to the district demographics. She's not a wake up and eat kid, so it works well for her. I know for a fact, however, that she'd much rather be asleep! On weekends and days off, the kids tend to sleep until 8:30, sometimes 9 a.m. I think that's going to be a little late to start our day during the school year, especially on co-op days. My goal is for them to get up about 7:15. I think that will give them enough time to get dressed, have bathroom time, make beds, and then eat, so we can start our day around 8-8:30.

Of course, that's just the kids. I find that I'm most productive during the day when I get up before the kids. Right now, it's so tempting to go back to sleep after Bug gets on the bus, especially if the little two are still asleep, especially if I was up late the night before. My ideal scenario (I said ideal, friends...) would be to wake up around 6, make coffee, get dressed, have some time in the Word, and go over our plans for the day or write. I can also prep anything that's needed for the day's meals, and have some much needed alone time before the stampede begins.

FEEDING THE HERD

It's going to be an adjustment, feeding all three kids breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. As I wrote before, Bug has had school breakfast, so I haven't had to feed her breakfast consistently in two years. Belly is a fully eating member of the household, too. So meal planning each course is going to be critical, and this is twofold. First and foremost, I don't want to get in a rut where our favorite things become boring. Secondly, I want to avoid the "what do you want/no, not that" black hole. So it is written, so it shall be done.

I'm thinking of attempting a monthly meal plan, but I'm not 100% sure about that. I prefer to shop the sales and, and build the week's menu around the specials. I do weekly meal planning pretty consistently already, and it works well for us.

The really fun part is going to be trying to keep all that extra food in the same parameters as my current grocery budget. I've fed us well on much less, so it actually won't be hard. Saving money on groceries is actually really, truly fun to me. We don't eat a lot of processed or pre-packaged foods (except for snacks like Goldfish, granola bars, fruit snacks, etc.), and feeding my kids things made from whole foods, made from scratch is a lot easier and cheaper than you'd think. I'll share some of our favorite things as I make them, as well as a cost breakdown. We usually spend about $150/week for our family of five.

CHORES

Bug is a very willing helper, but at this point, she doesn't have any set chores. Bud is an enthusiastic volunteer, but not a willing recruit. This will change, friends. Oh, how this will change! Bug has a really long day, and when she gets home, I want her to have time to be a kid and play. If that means she doesn't have set chores, I've been ok with that. But now that her time is mine (bwahahahahaha!), I can work age appropriate chores into both of their days. They will both make their beds, pick up toys, help keep the classroom neat and tidy, take care of the dog, setting and clearing the table, dusting, and helping with bathrooms. Cooking, in my opinion, should never be lumped into chores. Both of my kids love to help cook, which I like to use as bonding and teaching (hello, fractions). We will be implementing a reward system/allowance eventually.

I'll walk you through each step of the process in future posts! If you have any great resources, let me know!

Adventure, noun.

Ad`ven´ture

n.	1.	That which happens without design; chance; hazard; hap; hence, chance of danger or loss.

You know that itchy feeling, right? That feeling you just can't shake...the need to do something more than the state of your current existence. I'm not talking about a lack of joy, gratitude or contentment; those are spiritual things you have to reconcile with your Creator. No. It's that intangible urge for adventure.

Sometimes, if you're lucky, it's easy to remedy adventure-itis. Move around the furniture. Dye your hair a crazy color or get a tattoo. Paint something. Sometimes, you'll book a great vacation to a new place, and the thrill of the experience will take the edge off of the urge. But then it comes back.

Or maybe you haven't gotten a tattoo in 10 years, and the gorgeous violet has faded from your hair, and your couches can't be arranged any differently (but there's still furniture to paint!). Maybe you had an amazing adventure to a place on your bucket list but can't afford anymore vacations because kids. All the temporal stuff just isn't cutting it anymore. That sense of adventure is pulling you to the point of discontent creeping in, and you don't like it. Maybe this is me.

But what if some of the chances in the life outside of your control swirl together to create a storm so perfect that you finally hear God shouting, "This is what you've been resisting. It's been there all along. Do it." 

And I knew without a doubt the call that He'd placed on my heart: homeschooling my kids.

Now that I think about it, it's been there for a long time. Ever since Bug was three or so, I've pondered school choices, to the point of obsession. Back in Maryland, we had very few choices outside of the public school, and that was ok, because the schools were excellent. But I wanted the very best for her, so her strengths and abilities wouldn't get lost in the shuffle. Another mom at church suggested homeschool. I laughed, and said I could never homeschool. I enjoyed my free time and my patience was minimal. My line was, "I don't want to compromise their education."

We moved to Texas before kindergarten, and she attended our church's school. It was an incredible experience that set our educational bar very high. But, life happens, right? And then you can't afford private school anymore. What does a mama do? Obviously, you enroll in public school, apply for charter schools, and bargain with God. Conversations with God start to go like this: "Ok, God, please shut any doors that aren't your will for us. If Bug isn't meant to go to XYZ Charter, please close that door." She was waitlisted for the charter, and when the lottery came around, her wait list number went up. How's that for a solid no? But was that really a yes for public school?

We bought our house under the assumption that we'd be at Church School forever. Our school district is less than stellar; in fact, when ranking the school data for our city, its schools are excluded because the data would drive the average down too far. Bug's elementary school was one of the better schools, in an "affluent" area compared to the rest of the district, and served a lot of military families. It seemed...fine. Our first year was...okay. Her teacher was wonderful, but the work wasn't engaging. Looking back, that could have been due to the breakneck pace of information, often interrupted by kids throwing classroom furniture. Music once a week-ish. No art outside of classwork. Was this really going to be her elementary school experience? She begged me to homeschool. I made excuses.

Second grade was worse. Her first teacher was amazing, poised to be one of the teachers you remember for the rest of your life, but he was pulled to teach a different grade after just a few weeks. His replacement, also a man, was the polar opposite. Non-communicative, passive, and, to those watching at home, not at all invested. Not only did she have 2 teachers in one year, her school also saw three different principals, and the much beloved librarian died. It was a pretty crazy year. Yes, the teacher and administration merry-go-round is unusual, and was out of our hands, but second grade took the zest out of my sweetie's heart. She became complacent and passive, and became very anxious. Nearly every night, she begged me to homeschool. I wanted my sparkly, vibrant, sweet-and-spicy baby girl back. 

Meanwhile, we struggled to find a good fitting, affordable preschool/Mother's Day Out program for Bud. We hopped from program to program, with hits and misses, trying to find a program that would accommodate his needs. Bud is ridiculously smart. He can take 10 Legos and make 25 different incredible creations. He's older than most, taller than all, and far more verbal than a lot of adults. And of course, his birthday completely misses the cutoff for a better suited grade level. So, when it came time to find an actual Pre-K program for him, we wanted one that would not be full-time and wasn't just going to teach the same old shapes, colors, ABC's and 1-2-3's. We toured several schools, and none felt 100% right. But we had to choose one, right? So we chose one that would actually work with him on his level, and it was only a half day, and affordable-ish. The biggest issue that kept coming up was that if Bud started in this school, which goes through 12th grade, he'd have to stay there in order to allow him to continue to learn on his grade level. That's not necessarily a choice we'd prefer for him long-term. And then one of the staff there told me that she homeschooled her kids prior to coming to this school, and it was basically a fluid transition. Homeschool. There it was again. Should I actually, seriously consider this for my kids?

God was unrelenting. Second grade got worse. The preschool thing just didn't feel right. I felt like I just didn't have enough time in my day to spend with my kids, who I obviously love, but actually really like. There was a host of other little things that were posing conflicting feelings in my life. I kept fighting it, until one day I stopped.

Homeschool.

At first, J laughed and dismissed me as slightly mental. In some ways, I agreed. I'm not the patron saint of patience, by any means. But as in anything, our weakness is a blessing; it's a chance to allow God to shine his strength through us as we lean on Him. Quickly, J realized I was serious, and gave me his unconditional support. 

So for the last couple of months, I've been researching, comparing, and analyzing different learning styles, curricula, and methods. I've pondered how strict of a schedule I want to keep. What kind of homeschooler will I be? Will I be able to separate teacher from mommy and keep frustration at bay? I'm sure as we get into the actual schooling part, my views will evolve, but I think I've come to a pretty big conclusion. I've realized that relationship is just as important, if not more so, than routine. If I'm loving my kids well, and creating an atmosphere where learning is joyful, then the results will come naturally. That's been a pretty proven method around here, because that's how we've always taught the kids since they were little. Imagine it. Good books. The people you love and WANT to be around. Art. Music. Nourishing food. Exploring nature. Exploring our rich city and all of the incredible opportunities here. Adequate rest. Play. And for our family, integrating our faith into our reasons for doing everything. Shouldn't that be how kids learn?

Making the decision, or really, submitting to the Lord's plan for us, was a relief. For the first time, I feel incredibly content. I feel excited, more excited than I have in years, and motivated in such a new way. This is an adventure! It's a wild west landscape, full of yet-to-be-discovered territory. It requires sacrifices that are actually blessings. It's going to be a major adjustment, but one that I believe is much needed. The payoff though...the difference in Bug's demeanor since we made the decision is remarkable. Kids are only little once, and the time is fleeting. Is it a risk? Absolutely. But this is a risk I'm willing to take. There is truly freedom in obedience, and this is proof positive.

I still wake up with that adventure itch, but it's an itch that spurs me forward and creates joy, the kind of joy that comes with pursuing your calling. Adventure always comes with its bumps and bruises, failures and successes, triumphs and tears. The requirement is a willingness to answer its call and jump in. And let me tell ya, this sort of adventure is way more satisfying than rearranging furniture. 

[Disclaimer!!! I am in no way discrediting public schools. I am a huge advocate for public education, and the amazing teachers who work tirelessly for our nation's children. This is simply my family making a choice for our children, based on their needs. We are not in a financial position to privately educate three children.]

The Seven Year Itch

Hello, blogger, my old friend. I've come to write with you again...

(How sad is it that instead of Simon and Garfunkel, I hear Princess Poppy's voice in my head?)

Anywho...so it's only been seven years since I've written. Seven. And I'm itching to write it all down. There's so much to catch up on, but I'll give the Reader's Digest condensed version before I have to start dinner. The whole ministry thing flopped. J's government job ended as predicted. He was out of work for 6 months, but between his side jobs, we managed to stay afloat. He got a job working for an environmental consulting firm, and it seemed pretty cushy. Bug was all set to become a big sister. And then, in late 2012, a month before Bud was born, J came home with crushing news: he was out of a job. Again. This time, we endured an extraordinarily tough seven months of unemployment, complete with a 12 day stay in the hospital for him, just 6 weeks after Bud was born. At Christmas. To say it was a test of faith would be an understatement. But we continued to trust God to show us His perfect path. Much to our shock, His path led to Texas. J got a job working on an oil rig, and went back and forth from Maryland to Texas every 2 weeks on the company's dime. The oil was booming, and we eventually made the decision to move back to the Lone Star State. We sold our house, packed up, cancelled a vasectomy appointment, and the kids and I drove out to meet Daddy in our new hometown. We started building a house, and almost as quickly as it began, J was out of work again. Oil crashed. This time, the unemployment lasted 11 months, testing, trying and refining our faith. We leaned heavily on God for provision. We saw His fingerprints on everything. And remember that cancelled vasectomy? HA! At the tail end of the unemployment, in late 2015, we found out that I was SURPRISE pregnant with our third kiddo. We were so happy, but naturally a little apprehensive. But of course, our good, good Father came through for us. On the day of my first prenatal appointment, J was hired on the spot for his current job, doing absolutely nothing related to anything he'd done before. Belly graced our family last summer.

So that brings us to today-ish. Three kids filling our minivan, and I'm toting around a diaper bag yet again. Most days, you'll find cloth diapers on Belly's booty, but some days, you'll find a disposable, because life. I'm less of a control freak, because with three kids, I'm unabashedly aware that very little is in the realm of my control. My standards are a lot lower, but I enjoy life with my kiddos a lot more.

I resurrected this blog for a couple of reasons. Mainly, I really, REALLY miss writing. I did a little guest writing for a friend's blog, and it was so fun. This is for me. I spend my whole day serving my family, and that is absolutely not a complaint; it's a privilege. But I've been thinking a lot about self-care lately, and I need an outlet to help me feel like ME.

Also, I have a love/hate relationship with social media, especially Facebook. I love documenting life's little moments along the way. But, I don't want to write novels every time I post. Our newest upcoming (mis)adventure is homeschooling. I'll post soon about how we came to this decision, but I like the idea of journaling along the way.

So here I am, back at the computer, fingers flying over the keyboard, writing, even though I know that there's a meatloaf that isn't going to make itself. But it's cool. Because between the grin on my face, and the swell of my heart, it feels SO GOOD to be writing again.

This is what I made for dinner tonight. Every last bite of it got eaten, and it was proclaimed one of my yummiest dishes to date. It's a brilliant brain-child, created out of what was needing to be used up, and what was in my pantry. Considering I bought all of my ingredients on sale, I'd say that this dinner was maybe about $5-6. It's pretty low fat, and it has a TON of fiber, but it's creamy and indulgent.

For the sauce, I found this recipe on allrecipes.com, because I was completely out of enchilada sauce. It was so easy and delicious (and cheap, because I buy tomato sauce by the case at BJ's) that I will never buy enchilada sauce again.

Enjoy!


Yummy Creamy Veggie and Chicken Enchilada Casserole

Filling:
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts or tenders
1 zucchini
1 yellow squash
1 medium yellow onion
1 envelope taco seasoning (I had Taco Bell brand on hand)
3/4 c water
4 oz light cream cheese
1 can creamed corn


White corn tortillas (prob about 15-20) cut in quarters (you could also use whole wheat or flour tortillas)
8 oz shredded cheese - I used a mexican blend


Sauce:
http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/ten-minute-enchilada-sauce/Detail.aspx


Basically,
8 oz can tomato sauce
1/4 c oil
1/4 c chili powder
2 tsp flour
1/2 tsp each cumin, garlic powder and onion powder
1 1/2 c water


Heat oil, add flour and chili powder, let "bloom", add remaining ingredients and simmer for 10 min. So easy and it is the best enchilada sauce I have ever had!!!


Chop chicken into very small pieces, dice veggies. Cook chicken first in a little bit of oil, add in veggies. Season with salt and pepper, but don't over salt, as taco packets are adequately salted. Sautee until veggies are tender. Add taco seasoning packet and water (or you can doctor up your own taco seasoning concoction, but I just happened to have a taco packet). Stir in cream cheese. Once melted, incorporate creamed corn. I know this sounds weird, but it adds a great creaminess without added fat.
Prep a 9x13 casserole dish with pan spray. Add a little bit of sauce to the bottom of your pan. Put down a layer of tortilla, then half the veggie/chicken mixture, a bit of cheese and some sauce. Repeat. Top casserole with additional tortillas, cover with sauce, cheese and, if desired, chopped onion. Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes until bubbly. Let stand about 10 minutes before serving.
Enjoy alone or with a dollop of sour cream, guac, or some chopped black olives or scallions.

Are we just missing the blessing before us?

Today, I am struggling a lot with the idea of (still potentially, possibly, maybe-- nothing certainly) leaving. I had a good long talk with my dad this morning. He challenged me to really ponder if we're doing this for us, or for God. I know, going to work for a church has all the glitterings of doing this for God. But what have we been looking at most? Where's the cheapest place to live? Where can we get a swankier house for a fraction of what we're paying now? How soon can we start packing? Those are all "we/I" statements. Do any of those actually revolve around God and his will for us?

Justin's heart's desire was to be back in youth ministry. Well, he blessed the congregation at First Lutheran here with his presence; he was an immediate answer to their prayers. They called it a miracle. They offered him the part time position, and, because of his experience and education, they upped the rate that they were planning to pay. Did we celebrate that as we should have? No. We were too focused on living elsewhere with a job that has yet to materialize.

Now that Justin is on the call list, names of churches just keep getting crossed off. Are we just narrowing things down to find the perfect one? And, though we're only a few days in, we still haven't heard from our "first choice"...I feel like we're waiting for college acceptance letters all over again!

Always the planner, I made a cost of living comparison spreadsheet. Of course, everywhere else is ridiculously cheaper to live. (Our town-- considered to be the lower cost area around here, too-- is 45% more expensive than the national average for housing, and above the national average for EVERYTHING?) But that has nothing to do with God's will or what's best for our family. First of all, he could get paid peanuts for an incredibly demanding job, and we'd still struggle financially, maybe worse than now. I know my focus has been on how much money we'd spend/save. And you know what they say about money.  But what is the cost of relocating? Besides the obvious financial cost of moving our stuff, buying a house, furnishing if needed, etc., there's a huge cost to our emotional bank. Yes, money is extraordinarily tight, and there is the very real possibility that Justin will be completely out of work/health insurance come Nov. 30. But what do we have here? We have family who loves us and enjoys being regular stead in our lives, and the feeling is mutual. (Ok, did I mention that I have reverse-abandonment issues?) We have AMAZING friends. (Do I tell you guys how much I love you??? Because I really, really do.) We've found ourselves a fantastic church where we can really be a blessing and be blessed (and he can check off the youth ministry fulfillment). He also has his kid that he tutors, with whom he's developed a real rapport, and the little guy is excelling as a result. So, what would be taken out of our emotional bank? And, something I hadn't really thought of beyond my family, what are we robbing from others' emotional banks?

If the Lord does lead us in a different direction, I don't want any one's emotional/spiritual banks depleted at our expense. If we're led elsewhere, I want His will and light to shine through all the skepticism and doubt that would veil the potential good. Basically, it has to be ABUNDANTLY clear to everyone that it's absolutely HIS will, not ours.

I get a daily devotional in my email. Sometimes I read it, sometimes I don't. Today, though, I did, and I'm really glad I chose to.  Isaiah 26: 3-4 "You, Lord, give true peace. You give peace to those who depend on you. You give peace to those who trust in you. So trust the Lord always. Trust the Lord because He is our Rock forever." The writer gave her readers the challenge to complete a series of statements, record them, date and sign them, so that when the next series of trials come, you can go back and read it and know that regardless of the circumstances, God is the same. So here goes.

I have tried to find peace in: Justin getting a good job doing something/anything so we can be financially secure and happy, while making everyone in my world happy.

The valley I am facing today is: barely being able to make ends meet, job uncertainty, justifying moving and possibly not having the support of my family, making poor choices, not focusing on what God wants for us vs. what we want from God.

Until today, my response to this valley has been to: Plan. Think. Try to figure it out before God does. Focus on the problem than the solution.

I now turn it all over to God and choose to rest in Him, the Shepherd of my valley forever.

Coloring on a white page with a white crayon

Yet another night of researching churches. The likelihood of a Virginia church is slim to none. The larger ones are pretty well staffed DCE-wise. Honestly, though, I'm not a huge fan of VA (sorry, VA friends), and the places we wouldn't mind going either had itty bitty churches, or massive ones with full staffs. Oh well.

So it looks like (assuming all goes as planned and the aforementioned scenarios don't occur) we're Carolina bound. I just did a boatload of preliminary research, trying to scope out the churches that might call. North Carolina looks pretty promising, with potential openings in Charlotte, Raleigh/Durham, Clayton (near R/D), and MAYBE Greensboro and Winston-Salem. In South Carolina, well, Simpsonville (right outside Greenville) is our dream town. It was chosen by Family Circle Magazine as one of the 10 Best Towns for Families this year. The church there sounds amazing, too, especially since they had a DCE until last year, when he left to go to seminary. The pastor just retired from the Army as a chaplain....he actually reenlisted after retiring and just retired again after serving in Afghanistan. Not to put all my eggs in on basket, as Dad would say, but I reeeaalllllyyyy want to live in Simpsonville! And for a Simpsons-loving guy like Justin, how perfect of a town name is that???

Anyway, at this point, it's all research and speculation. I feel like I'm coloring on a blank page with a white crayon. I can write and draw all I want, but it's not visible right now. I'm waiting for a different color paper, or a different crayon.

My nerdy little self is now going to transfer my research onto handy dandy note cards. Here's hoping Bug sleeps in tomorrow...it's 2 a.m. and I'm not tired yet...and I'm all set to make note cards!!!

Call List Day!!

Woo hoo, woo hoo! *does silly little dance, circa 1985* Today is Call List Day! Justin called the office in Alexandria this morning and they directed him back to the Texas office. He had to play "let me transfer you tag" and then was finally placed in contact with the correct person, who he just happens to know. Score. So hopefully, after he gets his paperwork done to transfer districts, he will be on the call list by this afternoon or tomorrow. Eeeexcellent.

Yesterday was a big day. We went to First Lutheran yesterday. Justin interviewed with the full time DCE, the pastor, and some of the parents and kids. It went well, and the board has to approve it when they meet later this week. The only possible glitch would be if they didn't want to have to look again if we leave.

I still have to say "if" because something could still come up here, but it wouldn't be a church. Pastor Paul told us that none of the other churches in Southern MD have congregations that can support a full time DCE. Honestly, that was an answer to my prayers. I didn't want to be faced with having to choose between a local church and a church elsewhere.

After church, we had to talk to my Dad. He'd gotten a bit of information from Mom and Grandma, and he basically wrote it off as a whim until we sat him down. I was so proud of Justin...he did a great job, talking about how he had to do what was right for his family as the head of the household, and this service is nothing new, etc. Dad listened patiently and let Justin talk. He was glad that this wasn't just one of my zany ideas, which I tend to have, and that we were approaching this spiritually. Of course, he had to bring the perspective that this may just be opening our eyes to service and that some other possibility might open up, or one of the billions of applications could finally call him back, or, North Korea could nuke DC and we would be concerned with other things for a while. While the latter kind of made me roll my eyes, theoretically it could happen...anything could...I suppose. He gave us a lot of great advice and told us that, while of course he doesn't want to see us go, we have to do what we have to do. So now, that's one huge burden off my heart. We're so blessed to have such great family and friends supporting us.

So now, we wait. Pray and wait.